Toilet Training — The JLK Approach

💚 Signs of readiness (need multiple, not just one)

Physical:

• Staying dry for 1–2 hours during the day
• Waking dry from naps sometimes
• Regular, predictable bowel movements
• Can pull down/up own pants

Cognitive:

• Interested in the toilet — watching others, wanting to sit
• Aware of being wet or soiled (may pat nappy, or hide to poo)
• Understands simple instructions ("come to the potty")

Emotional:

• Wants to please, wants independence
• Not in a period of upheaval (new sibling, house move, starting nursery)

❌ Signs of NOT ready

• Under 18 months — biologically not ready in most cases.
• Actively resistant to sitting on toilet/potty.
• Frequent wet nappies (every 30 min) — bladder not yet mature.
• Currently going through a big change (new baby, house move, starting nursery).

💭 The 24-month norm is a myth. Most children are ready between 24 and 36 months. Some later. Development is a range. Never compare children.

🤝 The JLK parent partnership

Before starting: a conversation with the parent about:

• Are they seeing readiness signs at home?
• What language do they use at home? (Toilet, potty, wee, poo, or a family word?)
• What routine are they trying?
• How do they handle accidents?
• Any cultural preferences (some families train earlier or later based on cultural norms)?

During training:

• Daily handover: how many wees on the toilet? How many accidents? Any concerns?
• SAME words, same routine, same response to accidents at home + nursery.
• Written log on the daily record — parent takes it home to see.

💚 The JLK daily routine (during training)

• Regular toilet visits — after breakfast, before snack, after nap, before outside, before pickup.
• Never forced to sit if they say no — offer, don't insist.
• Praise the sitting AND the trying, not just success. "You came to the toilet — well done."
• If nothing happens after 2-3 min, that's fine. "Not this time. Let's try again later."
• Spare clothes always to hand.

💛 Accidents — the single most important thing

Every child in training will have accidents. How you handle them SHAPES the whole experience.

❌ Never:

• Never shame — no exasperation, no "why didn't you tell me?", no "big children don't do that".
• Never make a big deal in front of other children.
• Never take away privileges as consequence.
• Never tell the parent as a complaint — tell as information.

👖 Pull-ups to pants transition

• Wait until dry more often than wet on pull-ups for 2 weeks.
• Then switch to real pants — with parent's agreement.
• Expect accidents in the first week — normal. Not a step backwards.
• Let the child feel the wet — it's part of learning. (Pull-ups mask this — one reason many families switch to pants.)
• Spare pants + trousers x2-3 at nursery every day during transition.

🌙 Night dryness — much later

Day dryness ≠ night dryness. Most children need pull-ups or nappies at night for 6 months to 2 YEARS after being dry in the day. Night dryness depends on a hormone (vasopressin) that develops when it develops. Not effort, not training. If a family is worried, refer to health visitor. Never shame bedwetting.